What is your idea about #relationshipgoals in one line?
" I think I'm falling. Please catch me", she said, remembering what she had told her God - her father, that morning.
I've never seen love age. When I say love, I mean love between two people in companionship. My dad died when I was young and so did my grandfather. So sadly all I saw was a pair of women who were mourning their love. Don't get me wrong, their love didn't fade way. Amma and Appachan's love lives through the fond stories my mother tells and the little private smile she has when I call her "aanoo" (ആനോ) - the name my dad used to call her. So I've seen long lasting love; but that love is a longing, a lament. My parents had a difficult and impoverished childhood, which is probably why I don't see a lot of friendships that stood the test of time. For some weird reason, none of my siblings also has friends that could show me how love travelled through life and aged. Which is why the videos of old couples bring tears to my eyes - to see the fortune of being in love and being reminded that you get to share your life with them everyday. The little cynic in me ...
I am my mother's daughter. I look like my dad, I speak like my dad and many say that I behave like him too, but I am my mother's daughter. It was easy to call my dad a role model, because I only knew him for 6 short years and I guess death does tend to soften memories. I've only heard of great things about him - from my mom and everybody else. There was an altar of legacy built around him where I had to be the perfect copy to carry the torch forward. With amma though, I could just be. I could be whatever I want and would be accepted for it. Amma tends to downplay her role in building the person I am now. She thinks genes and 6 years of inane babbling with my dad has contributed to my personality more than 23 years of consistent effort she has put on me. Everything I know about love, commitment, kindness and a hundred other things are solely because of her. There are not enough words to explain everything she has taught me and how much I love her; but words are the only thin...
Last week, I gave a eulogy for my grandmother. I was in jitters the day before. It was unlike any speech I had done before. In my head, my word vomit in those 5 minutes would determine how she was remembered by the people who came for the funeral (at least the ones who did not know her that well). I had to verbalize a fitting legacy. But more importantly, in a childish sense, it would be the last time that I would get to talk to her - face to face - even though I knew that she couldn't possibly hear me. Following the funeral, it was little difficult for all of us to look at her things - her sarees, her airbed, towels......An absurd thought occurred to me then. What if she had a phone? More specifically, what if she had a phone number? If she had a number, then it would soon get deactivated; after a point of time, it would be reassigned. What would I have done then? Message her everyday, only to get a "sorry, wrong number", one morning in return? ...
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